Did you see the lunar eclipse last night? I did for about 15.5 seconds. It was actually kind of magical. We got back late from a holiday party - my mom called and said I was missing it and needed to go outside RIGHT NOW. Bailey and I ran outside - no jackets or shoes - into the middle of the street and looked up. It was solid gray skies - no stars, not a hint of moonlight. It wasn't going to happen for another 342 years and we were missing it. Oh well, I thought, its still happening, whether I can see it or not. I can still let go of what I no longer need and embrace a new light. Its not like the eclipse itself makes it happen, its my intention and reaction to the symbolism of it.
Suddenly the clouds moved. The sky shifted and wisps of gray clouds parted just enough in just the right spot. It looked like an ordinary half moon - no strange coloration or dimness - just a plain old white half moon. Except that we knew the moon was full. That this was no ordinary sight.
There wasn't time to run for the camera or let anyone else know. It lasted for barely more than a moment before the clouds shifted again and this once in a lifetime sight was obscured. I felt blessed. Truly honored.
The winter solstice might be my very favorite day of the year. Not because of any symbolism or ritual attached to it, but because every day hereafter for the next 6 months is a little lighter, longer, lovelier.
The ever eloquent Caitlin Matthews greets it like this:
"Brightener of the Darkness, hail!
Keeper of the Clearness, Opener of the Depths,
Gifts of plenty are arising,
Winter wonders, white snows' fall.
Joyful be the heart within us,
Open wide the guesting door,
Wisdom waken in abundance,
Warm our beings to the core."
Turn on the tea kettle, stoke the fire, huddle in and get quiet - winter is here. But, Hades' arms hold us a few seconds less every day and Spring is coming. How will you get ready to Shine?
Have the Reddest Winter ever!
In Grace,
Kell
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Giving Thanks....Finally
I haven't written in a while. Its in part due to the busyness of the holidays and in part due to the bzillion thoughts and realizations tumbling through my head - too many to write down at once.
I had a bad feeling at Thanksgiving. When I tried to explain this to people it usually came out sounding like I resented having to do all the work involved or pay for the cost of the holidays in lieu of other things. But, that wasn't really it.
I think I was feeling displaced.
When I was shopping at the grocery store for the Thanksgiving meal, it did occur to me how commercialized and materialistic even Thanksgiving has become. There didn't seem to be a lot of joy, let alone gratitude, in the whole undertaking. Now, I don't mean to bitch here. I had some great moments cooking with my kids, and the meal itself - sitting down with friends and family - that part was great. But, my husband summed up what I was feeling later that evening. My kids commented that although I read a Celtic blessing before we all dished up and sat down, that I had forgotten our tradition of holding hands, going around the table and each person saying something they are thankful for. My ever hilarious husband piped up, "I'm thankful that we didn't have to say what we're thankful for!"
I threw myself into Christmas wholeheartedly, thoroughly enjoying the decorating and the beauty of the Christmas tree and the lights and everything else. But, a few days ago some friends on Facebook commented about how people focus only on presents and greed and commercialism - and another friend responded that she loved the opportunity to give and celebrate just the joy of having people to love and give gifts to. It was in reading that "conversation" that I understood my angst.
I was indeed feeling the lack of meaning in the spoon fed commercialism that has become the tradition behind the holidays in our culture. But, at the same time I was feeling a pulling away from what has also been traditionally referred to as the "true meaning" behind them. The pilgrims did not wear top hats with big buckles and big white collars. They didn't eat turkeys, they ate sea bass. Jesus of Nazareth was not born on the 25th of December and there is nothing more pagan than an evergreen tree all lit up with ornaments and candles. While I was craving meaning, I was also resisting being told what that meaning should be.
I have in my every day life gotten far away from religion, from churchy-ness, from letting someone else tell me what God wants. But, at this time of year it comes flying back in the door with a vengeance.
So what is the answer? What is the meaning? Well, as Mr. Miyagi or Yoda, or Rumi, or any of the great and not so great new-age, self-help teachers of today would say - the answer lies within your own heart. Its whatever makes you happy. As Mama Gena would say, it means sucking as much pleasure out of the whole thing as you possibly can. It means letting go of all traditions, all expectations, keeping the things you like and ecstatically chucking the rest. It means being okay with someone else celebrating their religious rituals and knowing that I don't have to.
So for the rest of the holiday season - just a few more days really - I'm going to celebrate what most people would consider the secular side of things. I'm going to buy people presents and wrap them beautifully. I'm going to be grateful for the excessive number of sno-men and snow globes in my home. I'm going to not make cookies and candy because it would make me feel gross. I'm not going to darken the doorway of a religious service. I'm going to thank Goddess that Jesus was born on whatever date he came into being and that his message was of unconditional love, grace and the awesome powerfulness of being human. I'm going to love love love everyone whose presence I am honored with. I'm going to give until it hurts; I'm going to receive until its embarrassing. I'm going to sing Christmas Carols at the top of my lungs - religious and secular ones alike - because they remind me of the magic and mystery I felt as a child. I'm going to do all of this intentionally and consciously.
As the loving Universe we live in often does, it confirmed my conclusions this morning in a funny way. You know how everyone talks about those Facebook "friends" we've never met and don't really know like they're a bad thing? Today I'm incredibly thankful for one such friend. Paul Kennedy and I have never met, we simply have a few "likes" in common. But today he said this: "
I had a bad feeling at Thanksgiving. When I tried to explain this to people it usually came out sounding like I resented having to do all the work involved or pay for the cost of the holidays in lieu of other things. But, that wasn't really it.
I think I was feeling displaced.
When I was shopping at the grocery store for the Thanksgiving meal, it did occur to me how commercialized and materialistic even Thanksgiving has become. There didn't seem to be a lot of joy, let alone gratitude, in the whole undertaking. Now, I don't mean to bitch here. I had some great moments cooking with my kids, and the meal itself - sitting down with friends and family - that part was great. But, my husband summed up what I was feeling later that evening. My kids commented that although I read a Celtic blessing before we all dished up and sat down, that I had forgotten our tradition of holding hands, going around the table and each person saying something they are thankful for. My ever hilarious husband piped up, "I'm thankful that we didn't have to say what we're thankful for!"
I threw myself into Christmas wholeheartedly, thoroughly enjoying the decorating and the beauty of the Christmas tree and the lights and everything else. But, a few days ago some friends on Facebook commented about how people focus only on presents and greed and commercialism - and another friend responded that she loved the opportunity to give and celebrate just the joy of having people to love and give gifts to. It was in reading that "conversation" that I understood my angst.
I was indeed feeling the lack of meaning in the spoon fed commercialism that has become the tradition behind the holidays in our culture. But, at the same time I was feeling a pulling away from what has also been traditionally referred to as the "true meaning" behind them. The pilgrims did not wear top hats with big buckles and big white collars. They didn't eat turkeys, they ate sea bass. Jesus of Nazareth was not born on the 25th of December and there is nothing more pagan than an evergreen tree all lit up with ornaments and candles. While I was craving meaning, I was also resisting being told what that meaning should be.
I have in my every day life gotten far away from religion, from churchy-ness, from letting someone else tell me what God wants. But, at this time of year it comes flying back in the door with a vengeance.
So what is the answer? What is the meaning? Well, as Mr. Miyagi or Yoda, or Rumi, or any of the great and not so great new-age, self-help teachers of today would say - the answer lies within your own heart. Its whatever makes you happy. As Mama Gena would say, it means sucking as much pleasure out of the whole thing as you possibly can. It means letting go of all traditions, all expectations, keeping the things you like and ecstatically chucking the rest. It means being okay with someone else celebrating their religious rituals and knowing that I don't have to.
So for the rest of the holiday season - just a few more days really - I'm going to celebrate what most people would consider the secular side of things. I'm going to buy people presents and wrap them beautifully. I'm going to be grateful for the excessive number of sno-men and snow globes in my home. I'm going to not make cookies and candy because it would make me feel gross. I'm not going to darken the doorway of a religious service. I'm going to thank Goddess that Jesus was born on whatever date he came into being and that his message was of unconditional love, grace and the awesome powerfulness of being human. I'm going to love love love everyone whose presence I am honored with. I'm going to give until it hurts; I'm going to receive until its embarrassing. I'm going to sing Christmas Carols at the top of my lungs - religious and secular ones alike - because they remind me of the magic and mystery I felt as a child. I'm going to do all of this intentionally and consciously.
As the loving Universe we live in often does, it confirmed my conclusions this morning in a funny way. You know how everyone talks about those Facebook "friends" we've never met and don't really know like they're a bad thing? Today I'm incredibly thankful for one such friend. Paul Kennedy and I have never met, we simply have a few "likes" in common. But today he said this: "
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