Did you see the lunar eclipse last night? I did for about 15.5 seconds. It was actually kind of magical. We got back late from a holiday party - my mom called and said I was missing it and needed to go outside RIGHT NOW. Bailey and I ran outside - no jackets or shoes - into the middle of the street and looked up. It was solid gray skies - no stars, not a hint of moonlight. It wasn't going to happen for another 342 years and we were missing it. Oh well, I thought, its still happening, whether I can see it or not. I can still let go of what I no longer need and embrace a new light. Its not like the eclipse itself makes it happen, its my intention and reaction to the symbolism of it.
Suddenly the clouds moved. The sky shifted and wisps of gray clouds parted just enough in just the right spot. It looked like an ordinary half moon - no strange coloration or dimness - just a plain old white half moon. Except that we knew the moon was full. That this was no ordinary sight.
There wasn't time to run for the camera or let anyone else know. It lasted for barely more than a moment before the clouds shifted again and this once in a lifetime sight was obscured. I felt blessed. Truly honored.
The winter solstice might be my very favorite day of the year. Not because of any symbolism or ritual attached to it, but because every day hereafter for the next 6 months is a little lighter, longer, lovelier.
The ever eloquent Caitlin Matthews greets it like this:
"Brightener of the Darkness, hail!
Keeper of the Clearness, Opener of the Depths,
Gifts of plenty are arising,
Winter wonders, white snows' fall.
Joyful be the heart within us,
Open wide the guesting door,
Wisdom waken in abundance,
Warm our beings to the core."
Turn on the tea kettle, stoke the fire, huddle in and get quiet - winter is here. But, Hades' arms hold us a few seconds less every day and Spring is coming. How will you get ready to Shine?
Have the Reddest Winter ever!
In Grace,
Kell
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Giving Thanks....Finally
I haven't written in a while. Its in part due to the busyness of the holidays and in part due to the bzillion thoughts and realizations tumbling through my head - too many to write down at once.
I had a bad feeling at Thanksgiving. When I tried to explain this to people it usually came out sounding like I resented having to do all the work involved or pay for the cost of the holidays in lieu of other things. But, that wasn't really it.
I think I was feeling displaced.
When I was shopping at the grocery store for the Thanksgiving meal, it did occur to me how commercialized and materialistic even Thanksgiving has become. There didn't seem to be a lot of joy, let alone gratitude, in the whole undertaking. Now, I don't mean to bitch here. I had some great moments cooking with my kids, and the meal itself - sitting down with friends and family - that part was great. But, my husband summed up what I was feeling later that evening. My kids commented that although I read a Celtic blessing before we all dished up and sat down, that I had forgotten our tradition of holding hands, going around the table and each person saying something they are thankful for. My ever hilarious husband piped up, "I'm thankful that we didn't have to say what we're thankful for!"
I threw myself into Christmas wholeheartedly, thoroughly enjoying the decorating and the beauty of the Christmas tree and the lights and everything else. But, a few days ago some friends on Facebook commented about how people focus only on presents and greed and commercialism - and another friend responded that she loved the opportunity to give and celebrate just the joy of having people to love and give gifts to. It was in reading that "conversation" that I understood my angst.
I was indeed feeling the lack of meaning in the spoon fed commercialism that has become the tradition behind the holidays in our culture. But, at the same time I was feeling a pulling away from what has also been traditionally referred to as the "true meaning" behind them. The pilgrims did not wear top hats with big buckles and big white collars. They didn't eat turkeys, they ate sea bass. Jesus of Nazareth was not born on the 25th of December and there is nothing more pagan than an evergreen tree all lit up with ornaments and candles. While I was craving meaning, I was also resisting being told what that meaning should be.
I have in my every day life gotten far away from religion, from churchy-ness, from letting someone else tell me what God wants. But, at this time of year it comes flying back in the door with a vengeance.
So what is the answer? What is the meaning? Well, as Mr. Miyagi or Yoda, or Rumi, or any of the great and not so great new-age, self-help teachers of today would say - the answer lies within your own heart. Its whatever makes you happy. As Mama Gena would say, it means sucking as much pleasure out of the whole thing as you possibly can. It means letting go of all traditions, all expectations, keeping the things you like and ecstatically chucking the rest. It means being okay with someone else celebrating their religious rituals and knowing that I don't have to.
So for the rest of the holiday season - just a few more days really - I'm going to celebrate what most people would consider the secular side of things. I'm going to buy people presents and wrap them beautifully. I'm going to be grateful for the excessive number of sno-men and snow globes in my home. I'm going to not make cookies and candy because it would make me feel gross. I'm not going to darken the doorway of a religious service. I'm going to thank Goddess that Jesus was born on whatever date he came into being and that his message was of unconditional love, grace and the awesome powerfulness of being human. I'm going to love love love everyone whose presence I am honored with. I'm going to give until it hurts; I'm going to receive until its embarrassing. I'm going to sing Christmas Carols at the top of my lungs - religious and secular ones alike - because they remind me of the magic and mystery I felt as a child. I'm going to do all of this intentionally and consciously.
As the loving Universe we live in often does, it confirmed my conclusions this morning in a funny way. You know how everyone talks about those Facebook "friends" we've never met and don't really know like they're a bad thing? Today I'm incredibly thankful for one such friend. Paul Kennedy and I have never met, we simply have a few "likes" in common. But today he said this: "
I had a bad feeling at Thanksgiving. When I tried to explain this to people it usually came out sounding like I resented having to do all the work involved or pay for the cost of the holidays in lieu of other things. But, that wasn't really it.
I think I was feeling displaced.
When I was shopping at the grocery store for the Thanksgiving meal, it did occur to me how commercialized and materialistic even Thanksgiving has become. There didn't seem to be a lot of joy, let alone gratitude, in the whole undertaking. Now, I don't mean to bitch here. I had some great moments cooking with my kids, and the meal itself - sitting down with friends and family - that part was great. But, my husband summed up what I was feeling later that evening. My kids commented that although I read a Celtic blessing before we all dished up and sat down, that I had forgotten our tradition of holding hands, going around the table and each person saying something they are thankful for. My ever hilarious husband piped up, "I'm thankful that we didn't have to say what we're thankful for!"
I threw myself into Christmas wholeheartedly, thoroughly enjoying the decorating and the beauty of the Christmas tree and the lights and everything else. But, a few days ago some friends on Facebook commented about how people focus only on presents and greed and commercialism - and another friend responded that she loved the opportunity to give and celebrate just the joy of having people to love and give gifts to. It was in reading that "conversation" that I understood my angst.
I was indeed feeling the lack of meaning in the spoon fed commercialism that has become the tradition behind the holidays in our culture. But, at the same time I was feeling a pulling away from what has also been traditionally referred to as the "true meaning" behind them. The pilgrims did not wear top hats with big buckles and big white collars. They didn't eat turkeys, they ate sea bass. Jesus of Nazareth was not born on the 25th of December and there is nothing more pagan than an evergreen tree all lit up with ornaments and candles. While I was craving meaning, I was also resisting being told what that meaning should be.
I have in my every day life gotten far away from religion, from churchy-ness, from letting someone else tell me what God wants. But, at this time of year it comes flying back in the door with a vengeance.
So what is the answer? What is the meaning? Well, as Mr. Miyagi or Yoda, or Rumi, or any of the great and not so great new-age, self-help teachers of today would say - the answer lies within your own heart. Its whatever makes you happy. As Mama Gena would say, it means sucking as much pleasure out of the whole thing as you possibly can. It means letting go of all traditions, all expectations, keeping the things you like and ecstatically chucking the rest. It means being okay with someone else celebrating their religious rituals and knowing that I don't have to.
So for the rest of the holiday season - just a few more days really - I'm going to celebrate what most people would consider the secular side of things. I'm going to buy people presents and wrap them beautifully. I'm going to be grateful for the excessive number of sno-men and snow globes in my home. I'm going to not make cookies and candy because it would make me feel gross. I'm not going to darken the doorway of a religious service. I'm going to thank Goddess that Jesus was born on whatever date he came into being and that his message was of unconditional love, grace and the awesome powerfulness of being human. I'm going to love love love everyone whose presence I am honored with. I'm going to give until it hurts; I'm going to receive until its embarrassing. I'm going to sing Christmas Carols at the top of my lungs - religious and secular ones alike - because they remind me of the magic and mystery I felt as a child. I'm going to do all of this intentionally and consciously.
As the loving Universe we live in often does, it confirmed my conclusions this morning in a funny way. You know how everyone talks about those Facebook "friends" we've never met and don't really know like they're a bad thing? Today I'm incredibly thankful for one such friend. Paul Kennedy and I have never met, we simply have a few "likes" in common. But today he said this: "
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Duck!
From Mike Dooley's Notes from the Universe - today's note
There are only miracles, Kelly, and to one degree or another they all soothe, pamper, and enrich. However, to avoid blowing too many minds at once, some are disguised as unpleasant surprises, botched circumstances, and twisted acquaintances that can rarely be seen for who or what they truly are until the pendulum has fully swung.
Yes... don't I think of everything?
Duck!
The Universe
So if something still hurts, baffles, or confuses, Kelly, it only means a miracle has occurred, the pendulum is mid-swing, and that soon you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
There are only miracles, Kelly, and to one degree or another they all soothe, pamper, and enrich. However, to avoid blowing too many minds at once, some are disguised as unpleasant surprises, botched circumstances, and twisted acquaintances that can rarely be seen for who or what they truly are until the pendulum has fully swung.
Yes... don't I think of everything?
Duck!
The Universe
So if something still hurts, baffles, or confuses, Kelly, it only means a miracle has occurred, the pendulum is mid-swing, and that soon you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
Friday, November 19, 2010
One year - aversary.
One year ago today we woke up on the hard floor in our empty house then watched as the moving guys unloaded our entire life from the van. It's fun to have a point of reference like that to look back over the past year and appreciate how good its been, how far we've come.
I remember a couple of days before we moved in I was able to get into the house and walk thru it by myself. I stood in the empty living and promised the house, my Self, the Universe that this huge change, this upheaval in our lives would be worth it. I swore that in this house I would become the Graceful Deva, whoever she turned out to be.
Its so cool that on this day when my family is acknowledging, if not really celebrating, our having been here for a full year, that the "first seventh" Harry Potter movie opens. We're going tonight as a family. I'm the uber Harry geek, but the whole family has joined me on the fringes of my geekdom. I love that there's something this fun to do on this particular night.
We're hosting Thanksgiving at our house next week and today I started going through some boxes of Christmas decorations to start putting the house in the holiday mood. We didn't "do" Christmas last year because we had just moved in and there were boxes everywhere. It seemed significant today that I opened the boxes of my merry snowmen collection and said hello to those old friends I hadn't seen since 2008. I can still remember where I got each and every one of them.
I've done well on my first week of the Photo365 project. The photos are all on the GracefulDeva.com Gallery of Grace if you want to check in on my progress.
This has truly been the Reddest Day Ever!
In Grace,
Kell
I remember a couple of days before we moved in I was able to get into the house and walk thru it by myself. I stood in the empty living and promised the house, my Self, the Universe that this huge change, this upheaval in our lives would be worth it. I swore that in this house I would become the Graceful Deva, whoever she turned out to be.
Its so cool that on this day when my family is acknowledging, if not really celebrating, our having been here for a full year, that the "first seventh" Harry Potter movie opens. We're going tonight as a family. I'm the uber Harry geek, but the whole family has joined me on the fringes of my geekdom. I love that there's something this fun to do on this particular night.
We're hosting Thanksgiving at our house next week and today I started going through some boxes of Christmas decorations to start putting the house in the holiday mood. We didn't "do" Christmas last year because we had just moved in and there were boxes everywhere. It seemed significant today that I opened the boxes of my merry snowmen collection and said hello to those old friends I hadn't seen since 2008. I can still remember where I got each and every one of them.
I've done well on my first week of the Photo365 project. The photos are all on the GracefulDeva.com Gallery of Grace if you want to check in on my progress.
This has truly been the Reddest Day Ever!
In Grace,
Kell
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Photo 365 project....
I already put this on Facebook, but thought I'd blog it too. Deva Sara introduced me to this fun photography project. It's called 365 Project and you take one photo every single day for a year to document your journey over that period of time. The picture can be of anything: people, nature, places, your Self, cloud formations, pets, bugs on a sidewalk....anything that jumps out at you as noteworthy.
This obviously requires you talking a camera or other picture taking device with you everywhere, every second of the day. It's entirely possible that I won't make it past 2 weeks of this commitment, but I hope I do. How many times do you look back over the weeks, months, year and not remember anything really significant. I think Life happens in the small moments and I want to remember some of mine from now on.
I've made a special photo gallery on my Website and I'll put up notices on FB and here from time to time.
Here's another great article about the project that helped me decide to take the plunge.
Doing my best to remember all the Red moments!
In Grace,
Kell
This obviously requires you talking a camera or other picture taking device with you everywhere, every second of the day. It's entirely possible that I won't make it past 2 weeks of this commitment, but I hope I do. How many times do you look back over the weeks, months, year and not remember anything really significant. I think Life happens in the small moments and I want to remember some of mine from now on.
I've made a special photo gallery on my Website and I'll put up notices on FB and here from time to time.
Here's another great article about the project that helped me decide to take the plunge.
Doing my best to remember all the Red moments!
In Grace,
Kell
Monday, November 8, 2010
Waxing Moon
Oh Thank Goddess the moon is waxing. I know I sound like a woo woo nutjob but I've been mired in the depths of a icky sticky slogging through mud the last couple of weeks where I couldn't get motivated to do much, but then felt guilty and depressed for not doing it. All the while I was perfectly aware of the fact that the moon in the sky was waning - going dark, disappearing - and that my own personal moon cycle was doing the same thing.
Our culture would normally just call this PMS and tell me take a Midol - or maybe to regulate it completely with some Lexipro (this was my anti-depressant of choice a few years ago). But I've come to believe PMS exists because women have been conditioned to ignore the calling of their souls to come further up and further in when the moon goes dark. Its like our own personal monthly winter, the chance to go within, listen to the wind whisper in the bare branches of our deep recesses and ask our Self what she really needs. Who the heck has time to do that?
Well, even though I know better - even when I felt day 15 surround me like a gray cloud and give substance to my doubts I didn't do the things I know will make the clouds lift. Walk, dance, paint, write, listen to the silence, do EFT tapping like its water in the desert, and for Goddess sake don't eat any sugar!
Its funny how I can almost stand back and watch myself flounder and completely know what's going on and not have the fortitude to do anything about it.
This smoggy grayness is nothing compared to the dark clouds that use to strangle me a few years ago and for that I'm grateful. Back then I wasn't even aware of my own moon cycle, let alone the one going on in the solar system. I thought I bordered on bipolar and didn't understand that it was my own soul screaming at me to stop ignoring her.
This was not really a depression, more a stuckness, a tiredness, a sense that everything is on hold.
Days 28 and 29 come and go then Day 1 dawns shiny slimy and Red and, completely at odds with my culture, I'm so relieved, so grateful. Because the magic Red flow brings the sunshine back, the clouds lift and I can see my way clear. That happened last week, just before the real new moon and this week, when the moon is waxing everything is wonderful. I'm flying. Things are getting done. Everything is bright and hopeful and beautiful. And I'm racing for the sheer joy of it to do as much as possible before the next day 15 hits me up the side of the head. Hopefully I won't flounder in this one. Maybe this time I'll remember to walk and dance and sing and paint and write. Maybe I'll take 15 minutes to sit with my Self in the silence and let her tell me what she really needs.
But, whether I handle it well or not, isn't it wonderful that I'll get another chance to try again the next month....and the next....and the next. BTW sweet hearts, this cycle is not a curse, its a blessing, a tool for listening to the goddess within. It is what makes us women, powerful, full circle creators. So, whatever day it is for you, take 3 minutes, go into the silence and ask your Self what it is she really wants you to know.
Its All Red - make it Redder!
In Grace,
Kell
Our culture would normally just call this PMS and tell me take a Midol - or maybe to regulate it completely with some Lexipro (this was my anti-depressant of choice a few years ago). But I've come to believe PMS exists because women have been conditioned to ignore the calling of their souls to come further up and further in when the moon goes dark. Its like our own personal monthly winter, the chance to go within, listen to the wind whisper in the bare branches of our deep recesses and ask our Self what she really needs. Who the heck has time to do that?
Well, even though I know better - even when I felt day 15 surround me like a gray cloud and give substance to my doubts I didn't do the things I know will make the clouds lift. Walk, dance, paint, write, listen to the silence, do EFT tapping like its water in the desert, and for Goddess sake don't eat any sugar!
Its funny how I can almost stand back and watch myself flounder and completely know what's going on and not have the fortitude to do anything about it.
This smoggy grayness is nothing compared to the dark clouds that use to strangle me a few years ago and for that I'm grateful. Back then I wasn't even aware of my own moon cycle, let alone the one going on in the solar system. I thought I bordered on bipolar and didn't understand that it was my own soul screaming at me to stop ignoring her.
This was not really a depression, more a stuckness, a tiredness, a sense that everything is on hold.
Days 28 and 29 come and go then Day 1 dawns shiny slimy and Red and, completely at odds with my culture, I'm so relieved, so grateful. Because the magic Red flow brings the sunshine back, the clouds lift and I can see my way clear. That happened last week, just before the real new moon and this week, when the moon is waxing everything is wonderful. I'm flying. Things are getting done. Everything is bright and hopeful and beautiful. And I'm racing for the sheer joy of it to do as much as possible before the next day 15 hits me up the side of the head. Hopefully I won't flounder in this one. Maybe this time I'll remember to walk and dance and sing and paint and write. Maybe I'll take 15 minutes to sit with my Self in the silence and let her tell me what she really needs.
But, whether I handle it well or not, isn't it wonderful that I'll get another chance to try again the next month....and the next....and the next. BTW sweet hearts, this cycle is not a curse, its a blessing, a tool for listening to the goddess within. It is what makes us women, powerful, full circle creators. So, whatever day it is for you, take 3 minutes, go into the silence and ask your Self what it is she really wants you to know.
Its All Red - make it Redder!
In Grace,
Kell
Monday, November 1, 2010
Happy New Year
On the Celtic calendar, last night was Samhain. We celebrated the end of the harvest - anything left in the fields was left to feed the earth in that whole circle of life thing. We honored the past and the dead and the ancestors and we set our intentions and our dreams for the coming year so that they can germinate through the winter and come to fruition in the spring.
Mostly I enjoyed the day with my kids, getting the final touches to Bay's Mariachi band costume, getting Gav into his ninja costume, the pants of which were 3 sizes to big and had to be tied up with string. I wandered our neighborhood with Gavin while Bay partied with his friends in this new place which no longer feels new but in which we had never experienced this particular holiday.
Gavin voluntarily called it quits early due to a nasty head cold - he's home from school today. Bailey came home late with a terrible stomach ache from eating enough candy to keep an army of the undead on a sugar high for weeks. He too is home from school - he's not actually "sick", but you can't send a kid to school barfing.
In honor of the new year, I thought I'd put the old one to bed with a few pictures from the Pleasure Chronicles of the past few weeks and set some happy thoughts into motion for the coming weeks.
Here are some of us at the amazing Bauman Farms Harvest Fest - one week into my Dad's retirement and his first playdate with his grandkids on a no-school day.
There's me on the swing zip line, my parents on the climbing wall, and a shot of the amazing obstacle course which occupied us all for an hour or more. More pictures from this amazing day are on the Gallery of Grace at www.gracefuldeva.com
Here's my kids at a taping of Friday Night Smackdown at the Portland Rose Garden. I went with them last year, but this time I gave my seat to one of Gav's good friends Nick who is an avid WWE fan.
Here's a couple of roses from the Portland International Rose Test Garden. I went a while back with Deva Kate. I had, of course, been meaning to go all summer and never made it. I was pleasantly surprised to see how many blooms there still were in mid-October. It'll be fun to visit again in the spring and summer.
Last Friday Bay's school held a giant Harvest Fest carnival. Here's a shot of Leadership Bailey giving candy to a little girl after she played his mini golf game. Green haired Gavin is eating a donut on a string.
I'm looking forward to finishing up the soccer season, regular every other Mondays with my LifeMakeOver group and meeting more new friends through GirlfriendsCircle.com. We're hosting Thanksgiving this year and staying home for Christmas so it'll be a busy busy few weeks. I'm getting art ready to show at Our Sister's Attic which will open soon! I better set an intention to stay focused, calm and keep my most important power tools of self-care and pleasure sharp and ready to use.
"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." - Alfred D. Souza
It's all Red!
In Grace,
Kell
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| Ninja Gavin |
Gavin voluntarily called it quits early due to a nasty head cold - he's home from school today. Bailey came home late with a terrible stomach ache from eating enough candy to keep an army of the undead on a sugar high for weeks. He too is home from school - he's not actually "sick", but you can't send a kid to school barfing.
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Here are some of us at the amazing Bauman Farms Harvest Fest - one week into my Dad's retirement and his first playdate with his grandkids on a no-school day.
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Here's my kids at a taping of Friday Night Smackdown at the Portland Rose Garden. I went with them last year, but this time I gave my seat to one of Gav's good friends Nick who is an avid WWE fan.
Here's a couple of roses from the Portland International Rose Test Garden. I went a while back with Deva Kate. I had, of course, been meaning to go all summer and never made it. I was pleasantly surprised to see how many blooms there still were in mid-October. It'll be fun to visit again in the spring and summer.
Last Friday Bay's school held a giant Harvest Fest carnival. Here's a shot of Leadership Bailey giving candy to a little girl after she played his mini golf game. Green haired Gavin is eating a donut on a string.I'm looking forward to finishing up the soccer season, regular every other Mondays with my LifeMakeOver group and meeting more new friends through GirlfriendsCircle.com. We're hosting Thanksgiving this year and staying home for Christmas so it'll be a busy busy few weeks. I'm getting art ready to show at Our Sister's Attic which will open soon! I better set an intention to stay focused, calm and keep my most important power tools of self-care and pleasure sharp and ready to use.
"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." - Alfred D. Souza
It's all Red!
In Grace,
Kell
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Viva!
I've come back from Las Vegas with a couple of items off my "bucket list." I rode the roller coaster at New York, New York, crossed the Colorado River via Hoover Dam, and saw my first Vegas style stage show.
Las Vegas might not seem like the first choice for a family vacation, but I'm practicing not caring what people think and we all had a great time. Both boys didn't want to come home.
I got a good chance to practice not caring what people think while we cheered for our Colorado Avalanche amidst a sea of L.A. Kings fans at "Frozen Fury," an NHL pre-season game which we had organized our trip around. I was a little worried my lippy husband would get clocked by a beefy drunk guy in a Kopitar jersey, but we left the MGM Grand with only our pride bruised. We lost 2-3.
The worst part of any roller coaster is the initial "climb" - that slow eeking your way up the first hill that will then plunge you screaming into the whirlwind ride. Its during that slow climb that your fears assault you, when you realize that you could start screaming, crying, barfing or wetting your pants and nobody would stop the train for you. The only thing to do is hang on. I closed my eyes for that part but kept them open for the corkscrew and the loop. It helped that my 13 year old was next to me screaming for joy and laughing at the top of his lungs. My 10 year old, on the other hand, in the seat behind me (with his dad) proudly survived his first big roller coaster ride but didn't particularly enjoy the experience.
Its funny that I've never noticed the beautiful desert and rock formations that surround Vegas, but we got an eyefull of them when we drove to Hoover Dam. We took the "big" tour and got to climb through a ventilation tunnel and peek out the grate in the middle of the dam. I always thought of Hoover as such a source of hydroelectric power, so was surprised to learn that electricity is really just a by product of the dam's original and main purpose which is water control. There would be no Vegas, no agriculture, no nothin' but bare dirt and rock out there if they hadn't built the dam to control the water flow.
We walked and walked and walked - the kids loved the other-worldliness of some of the resorts like the Venetion and the Paris - Bailey's fave was the Mirage with its indoor jungle oasis, while Gav loved the Luxor and its hieroglyphics that covered every square inch. My introduction to the divine fem happened since the last time I visited, so I re-fell in love with Caesars and all the statues of caryatids and goddesses. I almost jumped out of my skin when I found Aphrodite holding the apple of discord and a huge lone statue of the mother earth harvest goddess, Demeter.
It was interesting being there with a new perspective on femininity and pleasure as a power tool, and especially woman's connection between the physical body and the divine. A lot of the time I walked around not being sure how I felt about stuff, but noting with interest that I was conscious of this - which must mean how I felt about it had changed.
For one thing, I was very aware that I had moved outside of the limitations of the Virgin & Whore archetypes. That women being very aware and comfortable with their bodies and their sexual power did not necessarily make them harlots, nor did it mean they had given their power away. In fact, sometimes I wondered if they were not more spiritually aware than I have been most of my life, simply by virtue of the fact that they are tuned into their own bodies. On the other hand, I wondered where that fine line is that some of them may have crossed. Where they are so identified with their bodies and their sexuality that they do not know who they truly are. Back and forth I went - mostly finding my internal wonderings to be the most interesting conversations I've had with my Self in a long time.
All of this leads up to our final night in Vegas where we secured the boys in the hotel room with the WWE on TV and went to see "Fantasy" the sexy house show at the Luxor. I don't think those women were power-less. They were actually very talented singers and dancers, gymnasts and athletes - but, like the ancient Greeks, they performed naked. Well, mostly. And, yes there were men in the audience leering at them and having fantasies about them - but I honestly think those women were happy in their chosen profession. They were getting to do what they love - and nobody was making them do it or abusing them. Their job alternatives probably went from the yucky kind of strip bars downtown or Burger King. They chose what makes the most sense to them.
Well, the bright lights are behind us and we're back home. I'm off tonight to my first GirlfriendCircles.com Connecting Circle. Vacations are easy - real life is when commitment to Pleasure takes discipline and consistency. As the knights at Excalibur's Tournament of Kings would say, "Huzzah!"
Keep pouring in the Red.
In Grace,
Kell
Las Vegas might not seem like the first choice for a family vacation, but I'm practicing not caring what people think and we all had a great time. Both boys didn't want to come home.
I got a good chance to practice not caring what people think while we cheered for our Colorado Avalanche amidst a sea of L.A. Kings fans at "Frozen Fury," an NHL pre-season game which we had organized our trip around. I was a little worried my lippy husband would get clocked by a beefy drunk guy in a Kopitar jersey, but we left the MGM Grand with only our pride bruised. We lost 2-3.
The worst part of any roller coaster is the initial "climb" - that slow eeking your way up the first hill that will then plunge you screaming into the whirlwind ride. Its during that slow climb that your fears assault you, when you realize that you could start screaming, crying, barfing or wetting your pants and nobody would stop the train for you. The only thing to do is hang on. I closed my eyes for that part but kept them open for the corkscrew and the loop. It helped that my 13 year old was next to me screaming for joy and laughing at the top of his lungs. My 10 year old, on the other hand, in the seat behind me (with his dad) proudly survived his first big roller coaster ride but didn't particularly enjoy the experience.
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| View from the ventilation grate. |
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| Me peeking out the grate |
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| Aphrodite |
 |
| Demeter |
It was interesting being there with a new perspective on femininity and pleasure as a power tool, and especially woman's connection between the physical body and the divine. A lot of the time I walked around not being sure how I felt about stuff, but noting with interest that I was conscious of this - which must mean how I felt about it had changed.
For one thing, I was very aware that I had moved outside of the limitations of the Virgin & Whore archetypes. That women being very aware and comfortable with their bodies and their sexual power did not necessarily make them harlots, nor did it mean they had given their power away. In fact, sometimes I wondered if they were not more spiritually aware than I have been most of my life, simply by virtue of the fact that they are tuned into their own bodies. On the other hand, I wondered where that fine line is that some of them may have crossed. Where they are so identified with their bodies and their sexuality that they do not know who they truly are. Back and forth I went - mostly finding my internal wonderings to be the most interesting conversations I've had with my Self in a long time.
All of this leads up to our final night in Vegas where we secured the boys in the hotel room with the WWE on TV and went to see "Fantasy" the sexy house show at the Luxor. I don't think those women were power-less. They were actually very talented singers and dancers, gymnasts and athletes - but, like the ancient Greeks, they performed naked. Well, mostly. And, yes there were men in the audience leering at them and having fantasies about them - but I honestly think those women were happy in their chosen profession. They were getting to do what they love - and nobody was making them do it or abusing them. Their job alternatives probably went from the yucky kind of strip bars downtown or Burger King. They chose what makes the most sense to them.
Well, the bright lights are behind us and we're back home. I'm off tonight to my first GirlfriendCircles.com Connecting Circle. Vacations are easy - real life is when commitment to Pleasure takes discipline and consistency. As the knights at Excalibur's Tournament of Kings would say, "Huzzah!"
Keep pouring in the Red.
In Grace,
Kell
Monday, September 27, 2010
Ta Dah.....!!!!!
Finally, Finally, Finally........introducing my ongoing forever infinity project to go along with this blog......
www.gracefuldeva.com is live! Well it has been for a while but I've just now gotten it to a place that I can live with. There are obviously several links and pages that aren't up yet...I'm working on it! Can't wait for you to see it - please let me know what you think!
Reddest day ever!!!!!!!!!
In Grace,
Kell
www.gracefuldeva.com is live! Well it has been for a while but I've just now gotten it to a place that I can live with. There are obviously several links and pages that aren't up yet...I'm working on it! Can't wait for you to see it - please let me know what you think!
Reddest day ever!!!!!!!!!
In Grace,
Kell
Sunday, September 26, 2010
On the edge....
Do you ever get the feeling that you're just on the edge of something amazing? Like you've waited and visualized and hoped and dreamed and that whatever it is might just be right around the corner? That's how I've felt the past couple of weeks.
It started when my box arrived from Wooden Shoe Tulip Farm. Remember back in the spring when I went to the local tulip festival and walked amongst the acres and acres of gorgeous tulip blooms? It was significant because up to that point I didn't do stuff like that...not alone anyway. If my guys didn't want to go somewhere, I didn't go. Like there was some rule that said I couldn't go somewhere without them. But that day last spring I went and I had a great time with myself and it was kind of this breakthrough moment of realizing I didn't need anyone's permission to have fun on my own terms.
So this week I planted my tulip bulbs in the front yard and thought about how far I've come in a few short months. I pondered the significance of tulip bulbs in relation to my new obsession with winter and spring, death and new life, Hades and Persephone. I thought about Shelby in Steel Magnolias and her very distinct shades of Blush and Bashful - because in the spring my three varieties of tulips will explode in three very distinct shades of Red - First Impression, Attila Graffiti , and Kingsblood.
That was the extension of my observance of the Fall Equinox - I didn't even open my copy of the Celtic Devotional. But planting bulbs felt like enough.
One reason why it feels like something of significance is about to explode is that a couple of cool things happened this week. One is that I met a new friend - another warrior named Kelli who is helping set up a local chapter of a Life Makeover Group - An invention of one of my favorite authors - Cheryl Richardson. I belonged to a LMO Group a few years ago and that collection of girlfriends led, I believe, to some significant life changes on my part. In the wake of my recent declaring to the universe that I was finally realizing my own solitary existence and my need for female relationships, I think its pretty cool that her life made way for her to reach out to me at just the right time.
We met at "my" local coffee shop and 2 1/2 hours sped by as we talked about where we are in our lives and found we are on the same page on many levels. She has, of course, read Cheryl Richardson, but has also been introducing Mama Gena's pleasure principles into her life and ran into Persephone and Demeter when she read "Traveling with Pomegranates" earlier this year.
In the same vein, I had signed up at GirlfriendCircles.com a while back and this same week they set me up with a "Connecting Circle" - scheduled for the day after my family gets back from a quick trip to Vegas. So, tomorrow I'm meeting Kelli and another women in our first official LMO group meeting where we'll decide how to best support each other through whatever life is bringing next. Then, next Wednesday I'll have a "girl's night out" with some total strangers at a cafe in Beaverton. Ask and it is given. Perhaps soon the page in my vision book that is filled with photos of women laughing and relating and "friending" will be filled with real pictures of people I actually know.
The other cool thing is that Thursday, on the first day of Fall and under the power of that powerful Aries full moon, I finally got the ovaries to ask my bosses' wife how I can help her finally get her antiques and collectible gift shop open. She said my timing was perfect and that she had just decided that week to finally get the ball rolling. So, I went over to her shop, worked it out with my boss that I'll work half days for him and half days for her and came home with 4 antique doors in my van to paint and antique. My purpose, other than just being a friend and providing the extra warm body and set of hands she needs, is that when she is open, I will have an outlet for my own artwork and antiques! I am so excited I can hardly breathe through the "squueeeeee" of excitement coming out of my chest.
On top of all that, this week we're getting ready for our trip to the great L.V. - with kids no less - centered around a pre-season hockey game and a trip to Hoover dam. Much to do and lots of excitement to go around. Am realizing there will be no room for procrastination or dis-organization starting now.....
The universe is conspiring......can't wait to see what it comes up with.
Having the Reddest Day Ever!
In Grace,
kell
It started when my box arrived from Wooden Shoe Tulip Farm. Remember back in the spring when I went to the local tulip festival and walked amongst the acres and acres of gorgeous tulip blooms? It was significant because up to that point I didn't do stuff like that...not alone anyway. If my guys didn't want to go somewhere, I didn't go. Like there was some rule that said I couldn't go somewhere without them. But that day last spring I went and I had a great time with myself and it was kind of this breakthrough moment of realizing I didn't need anyone's permission to have fun on my own terms.
So this week I planted my tulip bulbs in the front yard and thought about how far I've come in a few short months. I pondered the significance of tulip bulbs in relation to my new obsession with winter and spring, death and new life, Hades and Persephone. I thought about Shelby in Steel Magnolias and her very distinct shades of Blush and Bashful - because in the spring my three varieties of tulips will explode in three very distinct shades of Red - First Impression, Attila Graffiti , and Kingsblood.
That was the extension of my observance of the Fall Equinox - I didn't even open my copy of the Celtic Devotional. But planting bulbs felt like enough.
One reason why it feels like something of significance is about to explode is that a couple of cool things happened this week. One is that I met a new friend - another warrior named Kelli who is helping set up a local chapter of a Life Makeover Group - An invention of one of my favorite authors - Cheryl Richardson. I belonged to a LMO Group a few years ago and that collection of girlfriends led, I believe, to some significant life changes on my part. In the wake of my recent declaring to the universe that I was finally realizing my own solitary existence and my need for female relationships, I think its pretty cool that her life made way for her to reach out to me at just the right time.
We met at "my" local coffee shop and 2 1/2 hours sped by as we talked about where we are in our lives and found we are on the same page on many levels. She has, of course, read Cheryl Richardson, but has also been introducing Mama Gena's pleasure principles into her life and ran into Persephone and Demeter when she read "Traveling with Pomegranates" earlier this year.
In the same vein, I had signed up at GirlfriendCircles.com a while back and this same week they set me up with a "Connecting Circle" - scheduled for the day after my family gets back from a quick trip to Vegas. So, tomorrow I'm meeting Kelli and another women in our first official LMO group meeting where we'll decide how to best support each other through whatever life is bringing next. Then, next Wednesday I'll have a "girl's night out" with some total strangers at a cafe in Beaverton. Ask and it is given. Perhaps soon the page in my vision book that is filled with photos of women laughing and relating and "friending" will be filled with real pictures of people I actually know.
The other cool thing is that Thursday, on the first day of Fall and under the power of that powerful Aries full moon, I finally got the ovaries to ask my bosses' wife how I can help her finally get her antiques and collectible gift shop open. She said my timing was perfect and that she had just decided that week to finally get the ball rolling. So, I went over to her shop, worked it out with my boss that I'll work half days for him and half days for her and came home with 4 antique doors in my van to paint and antique. My purpose, other than just being a friend and providing the extra warm body and set of hands she needs, is that when she is open, I will have an outlet for my own artwork and antiques! I am so excited I can hardly breathe through the "squueeeeee" of excitement coming out of my chest.
On top of all that, this week we're getting ready for our trip to the great L.V. - with kids no less - centered around a pre-season hockey game and a trip to Hoover dam. Much to do and lots of excitement to go around. Am realizing there will be no room for procrastination or dis-organization starting now.....
The universe is conspiring......can't wait to see what it comes up with.
Having the Reddest Day Ever!
In Grace,
kell
Monday, September 20, 2010
Family Girl Power
 |
| Sue, Cathy, Julie, Me, Pat, Linda, Jennifer & Julie |
We toured the Applegate Valley wineries and vineyards via a 14 person stretch limo. 5 wineries, 25 - 30 tastes - its a good thing hot limo drive Casey was at the wheel and not me!
 |
| J's sister Julie, cousin Jennifer & me |
 |
| Me, Jennifer, Aunt Linda, M-I-L Sue |
 |
| The Julies in the foreground |
 |
| Sue, Pat, Julie in the Limo |
In Grace,
Kell
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| J's sis Julie, Jennifer, Me, Cheryl, J's bro's wife Julie |
Monday, September 13, 2010
Pouring it in.....
Last Friday evening, Gavin Little Bird and I went to the Tualatin Farmers Market since it's more conveniently scheduled on Friday evenings. (Saturdays are just to busy with other stuff for me.) It's much bigger than the Sherwood market and we had fun picking out fresh corn, peaches, free range eggs - and of course, his gluten free, vegan, double chocolate Samoa brownie. After walking around a bit he was still hungry and had his eyes on the Dungeness Crab filled won tons. I caved - we bought one serving of 6 - he ate four, I had 2. They were lovely. He is my little food adventurer. |
Friday nights are traditionally boring as hell around our house so I started earlier to try to find something we all could do together. We just ended up at a movie, which I always think is a rather ironic thing to do with people you want to spend quality time with. Anyway, we went to the cheap theater and saw the Jackie Chan/Jaden Smith remake of The Karate Kid which was fun and adorable. I'm mainly proud of myself because at least I wasn't at home sitting on my bum and wishing I was doing something better.
Saturday was the first day of the soccer season - I got to see Bailey's team crush Tigard 8 - 1 - but ever so much lovelier than the game was the gaggle of moms I got to sit with on the sidelines. I met Jayne and Lori for the first time and reconnect with Laura who is a total hoot - she said she'd been meaning to call me for months to see if I wanted to go do something fun. She, like me, is a little burned, not on being a mom, but on being ONLY a mom.
Sunday was lovely and glorious - I spent almost the entire day either sitting on my porch in the sun, or curled up on my bed - reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo from start to finish in less than 24 hours. I don't read that much fiction, and when I do I remember why. I am incapable of enjoying a novel over a period of time - something reasonable like a week or ten days. I get so sucked in that I can't put the darn thing down and then have novel hangover for 3 days.
 |
| Can't wait for this bullie's finished mug |
 |
| Unicorn in process |
 |
| Hippocampus = Sea-horse |
 |
| Artist at work on a classic horse |
Today I'm at work in Albany, but slipped across the street at lunchtime to finally tour the Carousel Museum. They've had the engine and guts of an old time carousel donated and have volunteers hand carving all the pieces. The artistry is amazing - some are done by professional artists, some by people who have picked up a chisel for the first time in their lives. Its amazing to see the un - or semi-carved blocks of wood waiting next to the colorful drawing of what the finished product will look like. The hippocampus is my favorite so far, but the Gryffindor in me can't wait for the griffin and the hippogriff.
 |
| Gorgeous zebra and lemur pal |
 |
| A complete pooch |
Having the Reddest Day Ever!
 |
| Works in progress |
Kell
Friday, September 10, 2010
Fridays at the coffee shop
When I first moved to the new digs and was commuting and "working from home" I would come down to the local downtown coffee shop to take advantage of their wifi and get some work done. It got to be pretty expensive, not to mention fattening, considering that they frown on you just walking in the door and not buying something.
I came for quite a while though because the latte boy behind the counter is adorable, (I still don't know his name) and it gave me the opportunity to practice what Mama Gena calls "bitte chat" or basically flirting.
A few months ago, however, we purchased a wifi router for our house and I've been contentedly working at home in my own emf producing work cloud. As part of my Fall back to a regular pleasure schedule though, I think I'm going to make Fridays at the coffee shop a regular thing. I need to keep practicing my flirting skills and I want to establish a comfy away-from-home place to work on a writing project that's been ruminating in the back of my mind for quite some time.
I'm realizing though that this adorable place with the red walls and brown suede couches is run by some lovely Christian people - who may or may not be related to latte boy. A guy who is here every time I've come in is a pastor at a local church and comes here to work on his sermons. At first notice I thought this would make me uncomfortable, but the truth is its kind of fun to sit here surrounded by all the traditional morality and feel juicy on the inside. I wonder what they would think if they knew what kind of stories I'm sitting here writing in my little red journal......I think I'm getting turned on by the mere thought of it.
Well, I need to get to that little red journal - I mainly wanted to post a list of some of the yummy things I'm going to be pouring into my pleasure schedule over the next few days/weeks/months/years. It's been helpful to actually write all the fun things down in one place and then pick and choose whatever calls to me when I'm scheduling.
Here goes:
Massages - more than once a year
Regular Hair Cuts - I found a hair Deva here, I just forget to visit her until I'm desperate
Portland Rose Garden - gotta do this before the blooms are gone for the season
Portland Museum of Art - can't believe I've been here almost 10 months and haven't done this yet
Portland Japanese Garden
Portland Chinese Garden - been here once with the fam - need to go back, have tea and stay awhile
My coffee shop - check! At least once a week
The Tea Shop - adorable tea and scones place in downtown - haven't been there yet
Movies - why do we go to the movies with other people anyway? It's not like you sit there and talk
More art/craft shows/fairs - loved Cracked Pots - must find more
Flower festivals - in the spring I spose - went to Tulips, but missed irises, daffodils, rhodies and azaleas, lavendar, dahlias and probably more blossoms that warrant their own festivals around the area
Working in the garden - I have some huge projects going on that always get put on the back burner
Scrapbooking - when we moved on I was in the middle of 2007. Haven't gotten any further in 9 months
Art projects for friends and myself - I am truly in my element when I am "arting around"
Water coloring - I am truly bad at this but love to practice
My special writing project - only one other human being knows about and I'm not ready to share yet - but its juicy!
The beach - Its a crime to live a smidge more than an hour from the beach and not go there regularly
Farmers Markets - almost out of season for this too - I think there's one nearby this afternoon....
Dancing - I have plans for this.....at home and in the classroom.....
Exercising - this may not always seem like a "pleasure" but it makes me feel look and act more beautiful
Listening to uplifting podcasts - I have quite a collection of podcasts by inspirational women - I always seem to pick the right one at the right time, but honestly I could listen to 10 a day for a month and not get through my stash.
Seasonal rituals - these are fun, you can make them however witchy woo woo you want, or simply note the date on the calendar, but it feels good to mark the seasons, new and full moons, etc. I particularly like the Celtic holidays too which mark the transitions from season to season
Hikes/walks - my family is not very outdoorsy - gotta do this on my own
Singing - my boys are rock band geeks - they love it when I sing with them and have to say I love it too but tend to not do it because it feels stupid.
Practicing guitar - I use to do this - I could play "Red River Valley" "You Are My Sunshine" and "Starfish and Coffee" - my 13 year old offered to give me some lessons and I think I'll take him up on it.
Painting walls - my house is still mostly white on the inside with ugly brown wood cupboards and cabinets - totally unacceptable
Finding friends - joinging GirlfriendCircle.com today and also just heard from someone in a new LifeMakeOver group!
Reading - my to-read shelf is overflowing....
Typing up all those quotes! Hah! I have a stack of old daily calendar pages from my planner that I refuse to throw away because they have these great inspirational quotes on them.
Flowers every week - bought some on Wednesday - maybe Wednesdays will be flower day like Fridays are coffee day....
Make your own Pleasure list - and use it! It's your personal power tool to having the Reddest Day Ever!
In Grace,
Kell
I came for quite a while though because the latte boy behind the counter is adorable, (I still don't know his name) and it gave me the opportunity to practice what Mama Gena calls "bitte chat" or basically flirting.
A few months ago, however, we purchased a wifi router for our house and I've been contentedly working at home in my own emf producing work cloud. As part of my Fall back to a regular pleasure schedule though, I think I'm going to make Fridays at the coffee shop a regular thing. I need to keep practicing my flirting skills and I want to establish a comfy away-from-home place to work on a writing project that's been ruminating in the back of my mind for quite some time.
I'm realizing though that this adorable place with the red walls and brown suede couches is run by some lovely Christian people - who may or may not be related to latte boy. A guy who is here every time I've come in is a pastor at a local church and comes here to work on his sermons. At first notice I thought this would make me uncomfortable, but the truth is its kind of fun to sit here surrounded by all the traditional morality and feel juicy on the inside. I wonder what they would think if they knew what kind of stories I'm sitting here writing in my little red journal......I think I'm getting turned on by the mere thought of it.
Well, I need to get to that little red journal - I mainly wanted to post a list of some of the yummy things I'm going to be pouring into my pleasure schedule over the next few days/weeks/months/years. It's been helpful to actually write all the fun things down in one place and then pick and choose whatever calls to me when I'm scheduling.
Here goes:
Massages - more than once a year
Regular Hair Cuts - I found a hair Deva here, I just forget to visit her until I'm desperate
Portland Rose Garden - gotta do this before the blooms are gone for the season
Portland Museum of Art - can't believe I've been here almost 10 months and haven't done this yet
Portland Japanese Garden
Portland Chinese Garden - been here once with the fam - need to go back, have tea and stay awhile
My coffee shop - check! At least once a week
The Tea Shop - adorable tea and scones place in downtown - haven't been there yet
Movies - why do we go to the movies with other people anyway? It's not like you sit there and talk
More art/craft shows/fairs - loved Cracked Pots - must find more
Flower festivals - in the spring I spose - went to Tulips, but missed irises, daffodils, rhodies and azaleas, lavendar, dahlias and probably more blossoms that warrant their own festivals around the area
Working in the garden - I have some huge projects going on that always get put on the back burner
Scrapbooking - when we moved on I was in the middle of 2007. Haven't gotten any further in 9 months
Art projects for friends and myself - I am truly in my element when I am "arting around"
Water coloring - I am truly bad at this but love to practice
My special writing project - only one other human being knows about and I'm not ready to share yet - but its juicy!
The beach - Its a crime to live a smidge more than an hour from the beach and not go there regularly
Farmers Markets - almost out of season for this too - I think there's one nearby this afternoon....
Dancing - I have plans for this.....at home and in the classroom.....
Exercising - this may not always seem like a "pleasure" but it makes me feel look and act more beautiful
Listening to uplifting podcasts - I have quite a collection of podcasts by inspirational women - I always seem to pick the right one at the right time, but honestly I could listen to 10 a day for a month and not get through my stash.
Seasonal rituals - these are fun, you can make them however witchy woo woo you want, or simply note the date on the calendar, but it feels good to mark the seasons, new and full moons, etc. I particularly like the Celtic holidays too which mark the transitions from season to season
Hikes/walks - my family is not very outdoorsy - gotta do this on my own
Singing - my boys are rock band geeks - they love it when I sing with them and have to say I love it too but tend to not do it because it feels stupid.
Practicing guitar - I use to do this - I could play "Red River Valley" "You Are My Sunshine" and "Starfish and Coffee" - my 13 year old offered to give me some lessons and I think I'll take him up on it.
Painting walls - my house is still mostly white on the inside with ugly brown wood cupboards and cabinets - totally unacceptable
Finding friends - joinging GirlfriendCircle.com today and also just heard from someone in a new LifeMakeOver group!
Reading - my to-read shelf is overflowing....
Typing up all those quotes! Hah! I have a stack of old daily calendar pages from my planner that I refuse to throw away because they have these great inspirational quotes on them.
Flowers every week - bought some on Wednesday - maybe Wednesdays will be flower day like Fridays are coffee day....
Make your own Pleasure list - and use it! It's your personal power tool to having the Reddest Day Ever!
In Grace,
Kell
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Catching Up
Summer is over.....well, technically not until the 23rd, but the kids are both back in school which always gives the end of summer a sense of finality. Anyone who knows me knows I love the fall, so I don't watch the passing of summer with too much sadness or regret. Fall always feels like a time to come alive, start over, begin again. But, before I do that I feel a need to put a lid on the last couple of weeks and then set my intentions (today is a new moon - good time to do that) for the coming season.
When our friend Sara said goodbye after her week long stay (her vacation, our stay-cation) the theme we ended on is that there are so many fun things to do and its not only ridiculous, its unhealthy to wait until you have a guest or a week off work and then try to cram them all in at once. We did so many great local things that are available to me year round and its my job to use the resources I have to provide as much pleasure as possible every single day.
On August 29th I said goodbye to my beloved cat Spanky. This was my rotund gray and white fuzzy friend with the beautiful soft green eyes who had been with me for just over 15 years. It was time. As he aged I kept praying that when it was time for him to out-carnate that it would be easy. I don't know if I prayed this more for him or for me. A couple of months ago it seemed like the years just caught up with him in one fell swoop. He started losing weight, wheezing, having a hard time peeing and just generally not feeling good. His brilliant eyes started to dull and he would beg me to sit with him, pet him, hold him all the time. About a week before, I looked into his eyes and told him it was ok to go when he needed to. That we were both part of god and that though we couldn't comprehend this now, at some point we would and that as such, we would always be part of each other as well. Three days later I reneged a little, asking him if he could please do it when it was convenient for me. He complied. It was a late summer Sunday afternoon. He had spent the night under the raspberry canes - when I went to check on him, he was in the exact spot I'd left him the night before. His eyes were open and glazed over, his body was stiff, but his fur was still so soft and cuddly. I never in my whole life thought I would pick up a dead cat in my arms but I did - I held him and cried and told him how much I love him. We buried him right there in that spot. As we dug the hole, we had to excavate several large rocks which served as a monument of sorts after we had buried his body.
Spanky's passing seemed like a time marker for me. Like he was the last remaining vestige of the old me. (I don't count my husband and kids since they are growing changes humans as well.) He was my baby when I was so young, so naive, and so unsure of myself. He witnessed my evolution over the years, journeyed with me as I experimented with meditation, calling on a Mother goddess, and finding the power in pleasure.
I dreamed him a couple of nights later. He was his old self - fat, furry and purring contentedly in the arms of my new Love - Hades. They had finished their journey together and just as our eyes met, he sprang from the arms of the death warrior and landed on the grass - young, lithe and vibrant. He looked back at me one last time and said (did he really say it, or did I hear it in my head?) "No regrets." And in my dream I understood that it wasn't a statement of goodbye, it was a charge he was giving me. To live without regrets. As if he had witnessed me getting this far and now it was up to me to continue the journey.
So today on this "first" day of fall, when the kids are back in school and all is quiet, I am taking advantage of the new moon opportunity to reorganize as I take up the quest again. To valiantly, vigilantly, consistently pour as much pleasure into every day as possible. I've re-read and finished "Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts" again and understand anew how much responsibility and dedication must go into living life to the fullest. Its not something you can just say once. You have to re-purpose it again and again so that you don't get swallowed up in the ordinary.
I hope to return this blog to its original purpose which was to keep me accountable to anyone who'll listen about how I am doing this. Living pleasurably is my job and this is my report system. For those times when I want to wax long and philosophical, I'll turn to my website - which is live but not really ready yet - www.gracefuldeva.com - there will be a sign up for "newsletter" (that concept makes me laugh) where I'll let myself get a little longer winded.
The big yellow school bus just pulled up. Quiet time is over.....
Having the best day (and fall) ever!
In Grace,
Kell
When our friend Sara said goodbye after her week long stay (her vacation, our stay-cation) the theme we ended on is that there are so many fun things to do and its not only ridiculous, its unhealthy to wait until you have a guest or a week off work and then try to cram them all in at once. We did so many great local things that are available to me year round and its my job to use the resources I have to provide as much pleasure as possible every single day.
Spanky's passing seemed like a time marker for me. Like he was the last remaining vestige of the old me. (I don't count my husband and kids since they are growing changes humans as well.) He was my baby when I was so young, so naive, and so unsure of myself. He witnessed my evolution over the years, journeyed with me as I experimented with meditation, calling on a Mother goddess, and finding the power in pleasure.
I dreamed him a couple of nights later. He was his old self - fat, furry and purring contentedly in the arms of my new Love - Hades. They had finished their journey together and just as our eyes met, he sprang from the arms of the death warrior and landed on the grass - young, lithe and vibrant. He looked back at me one last time and said (did he really say it, or did I hear it in my head?) "No regrets." And in my dream I understood that it wasn't a statement of goodbye, it was a charge he was giving me. To live without regrets. As if he had witnessed me getting this far and now it was up to me to continue the journey.
So today on this "first" day of fall, when the kids are back in school and all is quiet, I am taking advantage of the new moon opportunity to reorganize as I take up the quest again. To valiantly, vigilantly, consistently pour as much pleasure into every day as possible. I've re-read and finished "Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts" again and understand anew how much responsibility and dedication must go into living life to the fullest. Its not something you can just say once. You have to re-purpose it again and again so that you don't get swallowed up in the ordinary.
I hope to return this blog to its original purpose which was to keep me accountable to anyone who'll listen about how I am doing this. Living pleasurably is my job and this is my report system. For those times when I want to wax long and philosophical, I'll turn to my website - which is live but not really ready yet - www.gracefuldeva.com - there will be a sign up for "newsletter" (that concept makes me laugh) where I'll let myself get a little longer winded.
The big yellow school bus just pulled up. Quiet time is over.....
Having the best day (and fall) ever!
In Grace,
Kell
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Pomegranates
Last weekend I bought a necklace at the Portland Saturday market to commemorate my new relationship with Hades and Persephone. I was looking for something Red (of course) and resembling pomegranate seeds. This was the first one I came across, then I proceeded to look at every booth in the market, but ultimately came back to this one.
Just a little symbol to myself that it's all Red.
Have the Reddest Day Ever!
In Grace,
Kell
Have the Reddest Day Ever!
In Grace,
Kell
Monday, August 16, 2010
A New Myth, Part 2
When I started my quest toward all things divinely fem several years ago, one of the first books I read was Jean Shinoda Bolen's "Goddesses In Every Woman." In those pages I fell in love with Hestia, Athena, Artemis, and Aphrodite - but I had a conscious roadblock against Persephone and Demeter. I couldn't tell you why, except that maybe I knew my path, at the time, meant to take me me away from the Good Daughter/Doting Mother archetypes. I was in search of my Self, not the me who only knew herself in relation to others.
The book that truly broke open the universe was Sue Monk Kidd's "Dance of the Dissident Daughter." A few days ago I pulled off my bookshelf another book, "Traveling With Pomegranates," a memoir written by Sue and her daughter Anne Kidd Taylor from journal entries made between the release of Dance and the bestselling novel The Secret Life of Bees.
So, as I mentioned in the previous post, I had already begun a new relationship with Hades when I picked up "Traveling With Pomegranates" and was immersed headfirst into the Demeter/Persephone story. What I found was that Persephone is not just the archetype of the good daughter, and Demeter is not just the archetype of the doting mother. They are both 1/3 of the classic story of a woman's life. I also didn't realize that the 3rd member of that trinity, Hecate, the ancient wise crone, also has a reoccurring role. Of course, front center and all the way through is the dark and deathly Hades.
What is so interesting reading the myth this time around is my knew understanding of Him. In the first place, the storytellers and historians translated the title of this story a little inaccurately for our modern vernacular. "The Rape of Persephone" has appeared throughout art history as a violently sexual act, while the original greek word raptis, would be more appropriately translated as "abducted."
Persephone was the daughter of Demeter (& Zeus). Demeter was the earth harvest goddess, represented by wheat stalks and orchard produce. She made the ground fertile and blessed humans with fruit-full-ness. Her teenage daughter Persephone (who up until this time had no story-line; nothing about her stood out as spectacular; she wasn't the goddess of anything) was walking through a field one day when she was distracted by a beautiful red flower. As she stooped down to pick it up, the ground unexpectedly opened up beneath her and she plunged into a deep crevice. We lose sight of Persephone at this point in the story and it becomes Demeter's tale. Demeter searched and searched for her daughter for 9 days. On the 10th day the ancient wise crone Hecate came to her and told her that her daughter had been abducted by Hades and was now residing in the underworld. Demeter's rage and grief rocked the whole world. She wept for months on end, pleaded with the other gods to help release her daughter and finally resorted to blackmail. She refused to let the earth produce crops. It became barren winter for ever - she was never going to stop weeping. There was famine and drought and plagues on the earth.
Finally, in order save humankind, Zeus interfered and told Hades he must return Persephone to her mother. But, on the eve of her return, Hades offered Persephone the nourishment of several pomegranate seeds in order to sustain her on her journey. (Pomegranates have long been the symbol of female fertility.) Somehow, (the stories are a little murky on the how) the seeds ensured that Persephone would return to him for a third of every year.
So, Persephone and Demeter were reunited. Winter ended and new life returned to the earth. Persephone became the goddess of something. She came to represent spring, rebirth, fertility, pink blossoms and newly sown fields, baby cows and spring rains. Here's an interesting piece of the story - wise old Hecate was the only one who showed up the witness the reunion. And she followed Persephone, as a faithful companion, continuously, forever.
In all the discussions of this book that I have read, Hades is always the bad guy who steals away Persephone's wholeness, Persephone is always the archetype of the faithful daughter who lives her life according to the belief system she was raised with, and Demeter is the dedicated mother archetype who gives herself unselfishly to her children. I think there is a lot to be learned from these archetypes, negatives and positives that can help us see certain storylines playing out in our lives. We can question whether we want to continue being the faithful daughter, or we can call on the energy of Demeter to help us love our children unconditionally.
But, Sue Monk Kidd brought to my attention, in one of those "well, duh" moments the view that Persephone, Demeter and Hecate represent the three faces of the ancient mother goddess - the maiden, the mother, and the crone - which of course, ultimately represent the stages that every woman goes through in her own life.
I also began to see this myth as representing not just that life journey, but the myriad of dark times, rebirth, new dreams and wisdom gained that we experience over and over during the course of our lives. I am Persephone, I am Demeter, and I am Hecate - all at once, all the time. As I age, I stay me. But that me grows and learns and creates and becomes wise because of the experience gained during the millions of death and rebirth cycles I go through during the course of one physical lifetime. These dark times can be huge like losing a loved one, getting laid off from a job, having a terrible sickness, going through a divorce - or it can be small things like going on a wonderful vacation and then having it be over, losing an argument, burning a meal, stubbing your toe, yelling at your kids, or resenting your mother-in-law.
All of these dark times, big or small, always result in newness, biggerness, wholer wholeness, if we recognize them for what they are and choose to learn from them. Now, I know transitions suck. Change hurts. Bad shit happens and we don't know why. But, it is during those times that Hades carries us. And he is not some bearded father figure or a horned devil or the one who makes the bad shit happen. He loved her. He made the warm sacred space in the womb of the earth for her to hide in while the world as she knew it changed. The bad was gonna happen anyway, it was a necessary tool to her becoming the goddess of something. He simply held her, made love to her, and made sure she made it through to Spring. And when all was ready, he returned her to her newer, brighter, bolder, wiser, creative self and gave her the gift of potent fertility. "You'll be back," he said, "You'll create something new and beautiful and then something will have to die for the next something new to come forth. You'll always come back. Death and change and darkness will always be waiting for you. But, its an act of love, of nourishment, regeneration."
If the darkness had not swallowed her, she would have stayed forever the same. Never growing, never creating, never knowing her own power. And in the story of our lives, there would never be a harvest, because there would never have been a spring. And there would never have been a spring, if there had not been a winter.
I love my new image of Persephone - I must admit I'm not seeing her so much as an archetype to call upon or a face of goddess to pray to. I see her as me. Becoming the goddess of something. The bringer of spring. The one who returned willingly to her lover Hades every autumn. The female ruler of the underworld who also helped those in darkness see the beauty and light in it. The one who ate the pomegranate seeds as a symbol of new life and the inevitable return to death.
I love Demeter too, but in a whole different way. I think this post is long enough for now and I'll talk about her in a part 3. For now, here's some pictures I found in a google search. BTW, I realize by the quantity of cool art out there in google-land that my epiphany about Persephone and Hades is not exactly new. So, while I'm still calling these entries A New Myth, please understand that what I really mean is New - To Me.
I love too that the gist of the whole myth and this whole woo-woo reaction I'm having to it could be summed up by saying "It's all good, It's all Red, It's all spiritual." Same lesson, new myth.
Have the Reddest Day ever,
In Grace,
Kell
The book that truly broke open the universe was Sue Monk Kidd's "Dance of the Dissident Daughter." A few days ago I pulled off my bookshelf another book, "Traveling With Pomegranates," a memoir written by Sue and her daughter Anne Kidd Taylor from journal entries made between the release of Dance and the bestselling novel The Secret Life of Bees.
So, as I mentioned in the previous post, I had already begun a new relationship with Hades when I picked up "Traveling With Pomegranates" and was immersed headfirst into the Demeter/Persephone story. What I found was that Persephone is not just the archetype of the good daughter, and Demeter is not just the archetype of the doting mother. They are both 1/3 of the classic story of a woman's life. I also didn't realize that the 3rd member of that trinity, Hecate, the ancient wise crone, also has a reoccurring role. Of course, front center and all the way through is the dark and deathly Hades.
What is so interesting reading the myth this time around is my knew understanding of Him. In the first place, the storytellers and historians translated the title of this story a little inaccurately for our modern vernacular. "The Rape of Persephone" has appeared throughout art history as a violently sexual act, while the original greek word raptis, would be more appropriately translated as "abducted."
Persephone was the daughter of Demeter (& Zeus). Demeter was the earth harvest goddess, represented by wheat stalks and orchard produce. She made the ground fertile and blessed humans with fruit-full-ness. Her teenage daughter Persephone (who up until this time had no story-line; nothing about her stood out as spectacular; she wasn't the goddess of anything) was walking through a field one day when she was distracted by a beautiful red flower. As she stooped down to pick it up, the ground unexpectedly opened up beneath her and she plunged into a deep crevice. We lose sight of Persephone at this point in the story and it becomes Demeter's tale. Demeter searched and searched for her daughter for 9 days. On the 10th day the ancient wise crone Hecate came to her and told her that her daughter had been abducted by Hades and was now residing in the underworld. Demeter's rage and grief rocked the whole world. She wept for months on end, pleaded with the other gods to help release her daughter and finally resorted to blackmail. She refused to let the earth produce crops. It became barren winter for ever - she was never going to stop weeping. There was famine and drought and plagues on the earth.
Finally, in order save humankind, Zeus interfered and told Hades he must return Persephone to her mother. But, on the eve of her return, Hades offered Persephone the nourishment of several pomegranate seeds in order to sustain her on her journey. (Pomegranates have long been the symbol of female fertility.) Somehow, (the stories are a little murky on the how) the seeds ensured that Persephone would return to him for a third of every year.
So, Persephone and Demeter were reunited. Winter ended and new life returned to the earth. Persephone became the goddess of something. She came to represent spring, rebirth, fertility, pink blossoms and newly sown fields, baby cows and spring rains. Here's an interesting piece of the story - wise old Hecate was the only one who showed up the witness the reunion. And she followed Persephone, as a faithful companion, continuously, forever.
In all the discussions of this book that I have read, Hades is always the bad guy who steals away Persephone's wholeness, Persephone is always the archetype of the faithful daughter who lives her life according to the belief system she was raised with, and Demeter is the dedicated mother archetype who gives herself unselfishly to her children. I think there is a lot to be learned from these archetypes, negatives and positives that can help us see certain storylines playing out in our lives. We can question whether we want to continue being the faithful daughter, or we can call on the energy of Demeter to help us love our children unconditionally.
But, Sue Monk Kidd brought to my attention, in one of those "well, duh" moments the view that Persephone, Demeter and Hecate represent the three faces of the ancient mother goddess - the maiden, the mother, and the crone - which of course, ultimately represent the stages that every woman goes through in her own life.
I also began to see this myth as representing not just that life journey, but the myriad of dark times, rebirth, new dreams and wisdom gained that we experience over and over during the course of our lives. I am Persephone, I am Demeter, and I am Hecate - all at once, all the time. As I age, I stay me. But that me grows and learns and creates and becomes wise because of the experience gained during the millions of death and rebirth cycles I go through during the course of one physical lifetime. These dark times can be huge like losing a loved one, getting laid off from a job, having a terrible sickness, going through a divorce - or it can be small things like going on a wonderful vacation and then having it be over, losing an argument, burning a meal, stubbing your toe, yelling at your kids, or resenting your mother-in-law.
 | |
| By Frederick Leighton |
If the darkness had not swallowed her, she would have stayed forever the same. Never growing, never creating, never knowing her own power. And in the story of our lives, there would never be a harvest, because there would never have been a spring. And there would never have been a spring, if there had not been a winter.
I love my new image of Persephone - I must admit I'm not seeing her so much as an archetype to call upon or a face of goddess to pray to. I see her as me. Becoming the goddess of something. The bringer of spring. The one who returned willingly to her lover Hades every autumn. The female ruler of the underworld who also helped those in darkness see the beauty and light in it. The one who ate the pomegranate seeds as a symbol of new life and the inevitable return to death.
 |
| By Jenna Dulceta |
I love Demeter too, but in a whole different way. I think this post is long enough for now and I'll talk about her in a part 3. For now, here's some pictures I found in a google search. BTW, I realize by the quantity of cool art out there in google-land that my epiphany about Persephone and Hades is not exactly new. So, while I'm still calling these entries A New Myth, please understand that what I really mean is New - To Me.
 |
| By J. Morreau |
Have the Reddest Day ever,
In Grace,
Kell
 |
| By Callisto Boucher |
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Seattle Art Museum
This weekend I got to revisit the Seattle Art Museum and "finish" looking at some pieces that jumped out at me on my last visit. Since I felt like this was a very pleasure-full, Deva thing to do I thought I'd share some of my favorites here.
On my first trip to SAM, I walked into the Ancient Greek gallery all by myself, stood in front of this 2nd Century B.C. statue of Aphrodite and cried. She is my "hold nothing back, give nothing away" goddess - known as the divine whore, but perhaps the most virginal of them all.
I should have written down who painted this family portrait of Zeus (disguised as a swan) his girlfriend Leda and their 3 children, one of whom became Helen of Troy. I think the thing I love most about this picture is the look of complete detachment on Leda's face. She could care less about hooking up with a divine bird; she is completely unimpressed at this point. One hand caresses a child's head, the other casually touches her own temple, as if to say "It's under control, I've got what I came here for, why are you still here ya big white honker?"
This African ceremonial "head dress" of sorts was worn over the shoulders. So big and heavy, it would have had to be worn by a male dancer, but obviously celebrated the voluptuous assets of the divine fem.
Another headless Greek sculpture, this time a nameless architectural piece known as a Caryatid - much like the giant female figures that hold up the Parthenon. Women have been bearing the weight of the world for centuries, and not just because of suppression and oppression and depression - but because, well, we're strong enough.
Does the theme/image/concept of this 2,000+ year old African statuette of a mother & child look familiar?
When I first saw this painting of Aphrodite and Adonis, I was confused because I always thought she pursued him but he spurned her in favor of his hunting trips. Turns out that story was not a Greek original, but a version Shakespeare wrote based on another painting where he is walking away from her. Truth is, Aphrodite did try to stop Adonis from going on that last fateful hunting expedition because, being god, she knew the boar would get the best of him. But, she also knew she could not take away his free will, could not bend him to her own wants or change him to meet her own needs. So, she lovingly let him go. And thought she mourned him, it didn't stop her from continuing in her role as the great sexual adventuress.
Similar to the Greek Caryatid, this Egyptian architectural Isis was probably used as a support beam.
I was delighted on my first trip to Seattle, when we visited Tillicum Village on Blake Island and saw the First Nations' portrayal of their creation story and gods' adventures in song and dance, to discover Raven was such an important part of their history. I loved Raven first because he is Brigid's bird in British/Celtic myths - carrying the souls of the dead to the starting over place. I love to see him in all his forms. He is both powerful and strong, yet also a hilarious, rambunctious trickster.
I'm so grateful for the chance to return to Seattle Art Museum and gain a little closure on my last hurried trip through its galleries. I am a little bummed at the timing though - one week later and we would have seen a new exhibit, Behind the Scenes: The Real Story of the Quileute Wolves. The Twilight fan in me would love to see that one.
I posted pictures from our 36 hours in Seattle and our subsequent Portland adventures on my Facebook page. Hope you enjoy!
Having the Reddest week ever!
In Grace,
Kell
On my first trip to SAM, I walked into the Ancient Greek gallery all by myself, stood in front of this 2nd Century B.C. statue of Aphrodite and cried. She is my "hold nothing back, give nothing away" goddess - known as the divine whore, but perhaps the most virginal of them all.
I should have written down who painted this family portrait of Zeus (disguised as a swan) his girlfriend Leda and their 3 children, one of whom became Helen of Troy. I think the thing I love most about this picture is the look of complete detachment on Leda's face. She could care less about hooking up with a divine bird; she is completely unimpressed at this point. One hand caresses a child's head, the other casually touches her own temple, as if to say "It's under control, I've got what I came here for, why are you still here ya big white honker?"
This African ceremonial "head dress" of sorts was worn over the shoulders. So big and heavy, it would have had to be worn by a male dancer, but obviously celebrated the voluptuous assets of the divine fem.
Does the theme/image/concept of this 2,000+ year old African statuette of a mother & child look familiar?
When I first saw this painting of Aphrodite and Adonis, I was confused because I always thought she pursued him but he spurned her in favor of his hunting trips. Turns out that story was not a Greek original, but a version Shakespeare wrote based on another painting where he is walking away from her. Truth is, Aphrodite did try to stop Adonis from going on that last fateful hunting expedition because, being god, she knew the boar would get the best of him. But, she also knew she could not take away his free will, could not bend him to her own wants or change him to meet her own needs. So, she lovingly let him go. And thought she mourned him, it didn't stop her from continuing in her role as the great sexual adventuress.
Similar to the Greek Caryatid, this Egyptian architectural Isis was probably used as a support beam.
I'm so grateful for the chance to return to Seattle Art Museum and gain a little closure on my last hurried trip through its galleries. I am a little bummed at the timing though - one week later and we would have seen a new exhibit, Behind the Scenes: The Real Story of the Quileute Wolves. The Twilight fan in me would love to see that one.
I posted pictures from our 36 hours in Seattle and our subsequent Portland adventures on my Facebook page. Hope you enjoy!
Having the Reddest week ever!
In Grace,
Kell
Monday, August 9, 2010
A New Myth, Part 1
It has become apparent to me that, out of necessity, the pendulum of my spirituality had truly swung clear to the feminine side. I have rejected any and all concepts of a male god for so long and completely rejected god-with-a-penis in my struggle to find how I fit into the 5,000 year old culture of patriarchy and female suppression. A while back though I heard the song "Stars" by the Weepies, which sounds at first listen like a lullaby, but which I have come to imagine is a sexy love song sung by Mother Earth to Father Sky every night. It occurred to me that if he is good enough for her, I can probably find something to love about him as well. Since then I have been searching for an image of a male God that doesn't dredge up feelings of servitude, judgement, and oppression.
You may be surprised at who showed up to take on that role. I know I was. I certainly never thought I'd end up in a blazing love affair with the Lord of the Dead. But I began to understand Hades as the most misjudged, underestimated and misaligned character in all of the Greek myths. When you realize that the whole devil image, the dark and evil epitome of all that terrifies us, the horned demon laughing as the souls of the damned burn forever in hell was invented because what scares our human egos the most is the uncertainty and unknown of death, then you can see Hades for who and what he is - The kind, loving torchbearer who precedes, carries and follows us through death. And not just that final death when we "outcarnate" permanently, but all of the little deaths we experience that are so hard, those times when something has to die so that something else can live.
You know that poem "Footprints" where the man realizes at the end of his dream that it was during the hardest, roughest most trying times of his life that he was being carried by his Saviour? To me, that is Hades. He is not the devil that drags us screaming and writhing into those horrible transition times. He is the one that catches us when the ground opens up beneath us and we are plunged into darkness.
I had begun this new understanding of Hades when I opened a book that delves into a myth I had not given much credit to before, in which Hades appears front and center. It was this new love for the god of death, transition and rebirth that provided clarity about this new (to me) story - and which brought me closer to new aspects of goddess I had not seen clearly before.
In another post I'll go into what I found out about Demeter and Persephone and their relationship with Hades. Google it if you want, for some background. Its a great myth, although I have to admit I wasn't that into it when I first read it. One of those "when the student is ready, the teacher will come" moments.
I'm currently enjoying a "staycation" with Deva Sara visiting from Wisconsin. I'll put up some pics of our delicious whirlwind weekend in Seattle and the gorgeous Pittock Mansion we visited in Portland today. Tomorrow we're off to Multnomah Falls and I'm tired so better catch some Deva Z's.
Have the Reddest Day Ever,
In Grace,
Kell
You know that poem "Footprints" where the man realizes at the end of his dream that it was during the hardest, roughest most trying times of his life that he was being carried by his Saviour? To me, that is Hades. He is not the devil that drags us screaming and writhing into those horrible transition times. He is the one that catches us when the ground opens up beneath us and we are plunged into darkness.
I had begun this new understanding of Hades when I opened a book that delves into a myth I had not given much credit to before, in which Hades appears front and center. It was this new love for the god of death, transition and rebirth that provided clarity about this new (to me) story - and which brought me closer to new aspects of goddess I had not seen clearly before.
In another post I'll go into what I found out about Demeter and Persephone and their relationship with Hades. Google it if you want, for some background. Its a great myth, although I have to admit I wasn't that into it when I first read it. One of those "when the student is ready, the teacher will come" moments.
I'm currently enjoying a "staycation" with Deva Sara visiting from Wisconsin. I'll put up some pics of our delicious whirlwind weekend in Seattle and the gorgeous Pittock Mansion we visited in Portland today. Tomorrow we're off to Multnomah Falls and I'm tired so better catch some Deva Z's.
Have the Reddest Day Ever,
In Grace,
Kell
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Red Athena
I've been rolling around in the delightful rediscovery of a particular Greek myth that has me contemplating all the big things like life, death, love, patriarchy and how certain cycles repeat themselves in our lives on so many levels and at different times and yet can be represented and described in one spiritual story. One thing that is clearer to me than ever is that god myths were not told to explain the Divine to us, they were written to describe our Selves to us and how we react to the Divine in us within the context of our own lives.
I've actually got a whole other blog post started that delves into some of the cool (to me) stuff that's popping into and out of my head, but its gonna be so big I think its gonna have to be posted in sections, otherwise nobody would sit down and read the whole thing.
In the meantime, I had a kick ass thought occur to me in the shower this morning and thought I'd share. Here's the background: for a while I've been contemplating finding an image of a male god that I can live with so I started re-studying some of the Greek myths and I found out something interesting in the connection to the Greek deities and their Roman counterparts. Most people (for the most part correctly) assume that the Greek gods were wholesale assimilated into the Roman culture and that the stories about them differed very little between the two cultures. For example, Aphrodite and Venus are pretty much one and the same entity with the same relationships, actions and tales. The same goes for Artemis and Diana, Athena and Minerva, Zeus and Jupiter. While you'll find differences in the details, the Greek and Roman worship of these characters was pretty much the same.
There was one major exception to this rule and that was the Greek god Aries and his Roman counterpart Mars. The Romans loved Mars. They worshiped him as a great Savior, a great leader in peace and war times. The reason is that he was butt-kicking warrior and a brilliant military strategist - but he strategized for peace. He loved the arts and music and partying and making babies. (He had more demi-god children than Jupiter/Zeus!) The Romans built temples and shrines for him all over the place, there were initiate mystery programs and priesthoods dedicated solely to his service.
Not so with Aries. There were no known temples, and very few literary or historical references to him. He was the "he who must not be named" of his time. They were terrified of him. Like Mars he was a brutal warrior, but not a general. He killed for the sake of killing, started wars for the sake of warring and was completely consumed in bloodlust. His only sexual/romantic relationship outside of the rape and pillage scene was with Aphrodite. (There's one I'm gonna have to delve into at another time.)
At the time I was reading about this it occurred to me that huge sections of the American populace seem to worship less at the feet of the Christian Savior and more at the beck and call of Aries. Not just as a nation either, so many people, both on the news and in my own life, are so friggin' angry about the most trivial things. We've become a nation of angry people, war mongering amongst each other over our right to be right.
So, back to the shower this morning......my astrological sign is Aries and I was considering how I would much rather channel some strategic creative Mars energy into my life rather than the blood thirsty animal instincts of Aries. And suddenly, kind of casually, I remembered that the only one in any of the stories who could ever stop Aries from opening a can of divine whoop ass on humanity was Athena. OK - divine pause in the forward motion of time here. The only one who could stop the war mongering Aries was Athena.
Blink blink. Remember when the Dalai Lama said the only hope the world has, the only ones capable of saving humanity was Western Women? And doesn't that thought both thrill you with hope and terrify you as to what your responsibility for participation in such forward motion might mean?
So, Athena......the perfect balance of male and female energy inside a female body. Unstoppable on the battle field, and like a mama tiger, especially brutal if you hurt someone she loved. Brilliant military strategist and the best wool spinner and weaver in the universe. She was the patron of all the homemaking crafts, gave the people the olive tree so they could sustain their families, and helped anyone who was interested in higher education. She was the goddess of wisdom AND the goddess of war. She knew how to sit, learn and create, and how to take explosive action. She was totally whole and complete unto herself. She was creative pussy power united with strong and unbending heart power.
Athena, give us Grace. Broaden and sharpen our minds. Unleash our creativity and ingenuity. Make our weaving fingers nimble and our armor strong. Sharpen our wits and our swords. Lighten our anger with patience and wisdom. Teach us to never walk away or close our mouths when our world is at stake. Show each of us our own individual balance of male and female so that we will never doubt our own divinity.
How am I gonna change the world? The same way anyone ever has - one thought at a time, one step at a time, one action at a time and starting in the only thing I truly have any control over - my own thoughts, steps and actions. Channeling as much Red Athena power as possible......................
Have the Reddest Day Ever -
In Grace,
Kell
I've actually got a whole other blog post started that delves into some of the cool (to me) stuff that's popping into and out of my head, but its gonna be so big I think its gonna have to be posted in sections, otherwise nobody would sit down and read the whole thing.
In the meantime, I had a kick ass thought occur to me in the shower this morning and thought I'd share. Here's the background: for a while I've been contemplating finding an image of a male god that I can live with so I started re-studying some of the Greek myths and I found out something interesting in the connection to the Greek deities and their Roman counterparts. Most people (for the most part correctly) assume that the Greek gods were wholesale assimilated into the Roman culture and that the stories about them differed very little between the two cultures. For example, Aphrodite and Venus are pretty much one and the same entity with the same relationships, actions and tales. The same goes for Artemis and Diana, Athena and Minerva, Zeus and Jupiter. While you'll find differences in the details, the Greek and Roman worship of these characters was pretty much the same.
There was one major exception to this rule and that was the Greek god Aries and his Roman counterpart Mars. The Romans loved Mars. They worshiped him as a great Savior, a great leader in peace and war times. The reason is that he was butt-kicking warrior and a brilliant military strategist - but he strategized for peace. He loved the arts and music and partying and making babies. (He had more demi-god children than Jupiter/Zeus!) The Romans built temples and shrines for him all over the place, there were initiate mystery programs and priesthoods dedicated solely to his service. Not so with Aries. There were no known temples, and very few literary or historical references to him. He was the "he who must not be named" of his time. They were terrified of him. Like Mars he was a brutal warrior, but not a general. He killed for the sake of killing, started wars for the sake of warring and was completely consumed in bloodlust. His only sexual/romantic relationship outside of the rape and pillage scene was with Aphrodite. (There's one I'm gonna have to delve into at another time.)
At the time I was reading about this it occurred to me that huge sections of the American populace seem to worship less at the feet of the Christian Savior and more at the beck and call of Aries. Not just as a nation either, so many people, both on the news and in my own life, are so friggin' angry about the most trivial things. We've become a nation of angry people, war mongering amongst each other over our right to be right.
So, back to the shower this morning......my astrological sign is Aries and I was considering how I would much rather channel some strategic creative Mars energy into my life rather than the blood thirsty animal instincts of Aries. And suddenly, kind of casually, I remembered that the only one in any of the stories who could ever stop Aries from opening a can of divine whoop ass on humanity was Athena. OK - divine pause in the forward motion of time here. The only one who could stop the war mongering Aries was Athena.
Blink blink. Remember when the Dalai Lama said the only hope the world has, the only ones capable of saving humanity was Western Women? And doesn't that thought both thrill you with hope and terrify you as to what your responsibility for participation in such forward motion might mean?
So, Athena......the perfect balance of male and female energy inside a female body. Unstoppable on the battle field, and like a mama tiger, especially brutal if you hurt someone she loved. Brilliant military strategist and the best wool spinner and weaver in the universe. She was the patron of all the homemaking crafts, gave the people the olive tree so they could sustain their families, and helped anyone who was interested in higher education. She was the goddess of wisdom AND the goddess of war. She knew how to sit, learn and create, and how to take explosive action. She was totally whole and complete unto herself. She was creative pussy power united with strong and unbending heart power.Athena, give us Grace. Broaden and sharpen our minds. Unleash our creativity and ingenuity. Make our weaving fingers nimble and our armor strong. Sharpen our wits and our swords. Lighten our anger with patience and wisdom. Teach us to never walk away or close our mouths when our world is at stake. Show each of us our own individual balance of male and female so that we will never doubt our own divinity.
How am I gonna change the world? The same way anyone ever has - one thought at a time, one step at a time, one action at a time and starting in the only thing I truly have any control over - my own thoughts, steps and actions. Channeling as much Red Athena power as possible......................
Have the Reddest Day Ever -
In Grace,
Kell
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