Hello Sweet Hearts - It's been 2 months since I journaled here. Not my longest absence from the world of blogging, but too long an absence from my living my own life on purpose and with presence. I last wrote right after my first show and was riding a happy high. According to Gay Hendricks, in The Big Leap, this must have triggered a reaction to some unconscious upper limiting belief about my self because shortly thereafter I plunged headfirst into a time of chaos and darkness during which I couldn't tell my own head from my ass to find which way was up.

Hades caught me of course. He always does, every time the earth opens up beneath me and swallows me whole. But this morning he seems to be pushing me out of the womb of the earth and saying it's not time to be here anymore.

If every dark cloud has a silver lining, the most recent one is made up of the people in my life who have shown up to love me through this. And as usual, goddess speaks loudly through the mouths of those around me, so I am blessed to be surrounded by such deep vessels. So, if I may take a moment I'd like to speak in humbled and slightly embarrassed gratitude to those who so eloquently spit my own words back into my face when I needed them.

JKW I would go through hell 2 1/2 more times if it meant I got to meet you all over again. You once toasted to the darkness and told me I would get through this. More recently you told me stop bitching, get my shit together and make a plan. (Well, not in those words, but that's how it translated.)

My sage of wisdom and laughter and the best boss in the whole world who will never ever read this blog....you quoted woo woo LOA new age verbage to me like you'd been raised the love-child of Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer. "You just need to get a vision of what you want your life to look like and then keep looking at it no matter what and see where it takes you."

Miss RS, the Deva of Drama, you put your hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eyeballs and quoted my own words back to me. "You are already a radiant goddess no matter what anyone else thinks or says. It's about your pleasure. Everything else will work itself out!"


KC - if I believed in soul mates, you would be her. We are K2 to the nth degree, every guy in a bar's wet dream, and two wild at heart peas in a pod wearing affirmation panties. I am never in a million years re-incarnating without you.


JDS - you will always be my best friend and greatest teacher. Always. No matter what.


Well, there. Sometimes you just have to say thank you.


All of this mostly to inform the universe that I know it's all been Red. To re-affirm and re-intention that a Deva's ultimate calling of making the world a more beautiful place for others to live in is only made possible by her finding and celebrating every ounce of pleasure and every drop of joy in each split second and inch of time and space.


Some famous lady is quoted as saying she wants to be such a woman that when she gets out of bed in the morning, the devil rolls his eyes and say's "Oh crap, she's awake." If I believed the devil was an actual entity and not a myth made up by patriarchal founders of a hundred religions who needed a source of evil in order to scare the masses into submission, he would not just be rolling his eyes, he would be standing in pile of his own shit.


Deva's back! Are you ready for a Grace storm?