I've had a couple of deep oxytocin breaths lately. (Where you breathe deeply and let it out with an audible "hhmmmm.... This actually releases oxytocin into the blood stream - and that, ladies, is your feel-good power hormone. It's an instant de-stress, get happier anywhere tool in your pleasure toolbox. It's funny, they work both ways...if you're cranky, stressed or frustrated, a couple of deep oxytocin breaths can turn your world around, but they also seem to arise spontaneously when you are feeling peaceful, powerful and in love with the world. That's the kind I've had recently.
In some recent study of working women about their life priorities, most women placed time with their girlfriends way down on the list, about 5th or 6th - behind obvious things like work, house cleaning, kids, etc. Know where I think it should be? #2 - right behind our own personal self-care and me-time. Why? Because women are relational beings, we organize our lives relationally - a woman balancing career, kids, marriage, etc. cannot be the best mom, wife, girlfriend, boss, employee, etc. if she is not experiencing face time with similar like-minded relational beings. Being with girlfriends is as big a decompressor as taking time to be utterly alone, and sometimes works faster! And Devas cannot serve the greater good if they are "compressed."
I've recently had wonderful opportunities to reconnect with a couple of old friends and can testify to how friend time makes you a better mom and wife. And produces absolutely blissful, spontaneous oxytocin breaths!
The main thing I've gotten out of reconnecting to a couple of friends I haven't seen in a while is that I'm not out here alone. Over the course of my spiritual journey there have been times when it really felt like I'm doing all the research, all the homework, all the soulwork totally in a vacuum and discovering what feels right only by trial and error.
The absolutely mind blowing realization I've had is that these 2 totally different friends, who don't know each other, have completely different lives and interests and are going through different periods of chaos and growth have one thing in common with each other and with me. We're all on the exact same journey. The EXACT SAME FREAKIN' JOURNEY! We've gone through totally different things, had different types of experiences, different high highs and low lows and through Grace found our way to clarity and have ended up in almost the exact same space spiritually. Different trains....parallel tracks.
The awe and wonder of this brings tears of joy to my eyes and at the same time makes me wonder if we had shared our journeys more would they have been easier? Quicker? If nothing else, we would have felt more supported and less alone. A sense of community might have made the lows a little less low and the highs that much higher.
So the power tool in my Pleasure tool box for a while is going to be friendships, playdates, and shared oxytocin breaths. I encourage you to do the same - especially if you have daughters who need to know that women need other women. For that matter, especially if you have sons who need to know that women need other women. Especially if you yourself have forgotten and need to be reminded that women need other women. Reaching out for the first time in a long time, or when you're new to an area, or when you're not really sure what you're looking for in a girlfriend, can be daunting. I know, believe me. The very fact that this is scary tells me I need to do it. (And for Goddess-sake, its just lunch, you don't have to marry her!)
Have the Reddest Day Ever - and share it with a friend!
In Grace,
Kell
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